(11_10_22) What’s The Connection? (Part 4)
November 10, 2022(11_10_22) A Monumental Destruction
November 10, 2022Today’s learning is dedicated to the refuah sheleima of Simcha Nosson ben Zissel.
In our previous post we mentioned how performing acts of kindness is not only an obligation, but an opportunity as well. As Shlomo HaMelech, the wisest of all men, said (Mishlei 22:9), “He with a generous eye shall be blessed, since he has given of his bread to the poor.”
We offered an example from Noach who, albeit was a tzaddik, failed to reach out to the people of his generation. As the Baal Shem Tov teaches, “Two types of Tzaddikim are hinted at in the verse ‘A tzaddik will blossom like a date palm and grow tall as a cedar’ (Tehillim 92:13). Our Sages noted (Taanis 25b) that the date palm is a fruit-bearing tree, whereas the cedar does not produce fruits. So, too, there are righteous people who are involved in bearing fruit – in influencing others to do teshuvah and helping to produce more tzaddikim in this world – and there are tzaddikim who are more focused on deveikus, on attaching themselves to Hashem, but they are not engaged in influencing others.”
“With this idea, we can shed a different light on our Sages teaching that ‘in the place where baalei teshuvah stand, even the righteous cannot stand’ (Berachos 34b). Typically, ‘baal teshuvah’ is interpreted to mean ‘penitent.’ But we can also say that a tzaddik can be known as a ‘baal teshuvah’ – a master of return. Such a tzaddik is one who has turned many away from sin and returned them to the path of Hashem. It is because of this tzaddik that there is teshuvah in the world. His reward is many times greater than that of the other kind of tzaddik, who, righteous as he is, does not seek to ‘bear fruit’ and guide others onto the path of teshuvah.” (Tzavas Harivash)
(See also Attribute # 7 where we discussed various interpretations on the dictum “In the place where baalei teshuvah stand, even the righteous cannot stand.”)
Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov offers another incredible explanation of Noach’s miscalculation. As Rabbi Yaakov Klein writes, “As the rain started to fall the verse tells us, ‘Noach entered the Ark because of the waters of the flood.’ Rashi comments on these words, saying, ‘Noach, too, was of those with little faith. as he did not enter the Ark until the waters of the flood compelled him.’ Here the Berditchover asks two questions. First, how could Chazal say Noach was weak in his faith when the Torah explicitly testifies that he was a tzaddik? Second, Chazal teach that if a tzaddik prays to nullify a Heavenly decree, he is met with certain success. Why didn’t Noach pray for his generation?”
(See Sefer HaMiddos, Charity # 52 where Rebbe Nachman teaches, “When one person prays for another, he is credited with having given charity.”)
“The Berditchover answers both questions with the following astounding idea. He explains that there are two types of tzaddikim in the world. The first tzaddik spends every moment of his life serving G-d on the highest levels, and, aware of his stature and ability to affect the upper worlds, he prays for the nullification of harsh decrees as is necessary. The second tzaddik also serves Hashem all his life, but considers himself to be so entirely worthless that he doesn’t think he can truly make a difference. Thus, he doesn’t try to shake the heavens with his prayers.”
“Noach was of the second category of taddikim. Yes, he was a complete tzaddik as the Torah testifies, but as Rashi says, ‘Noach, too, was of those with little faith.’ Says the holy Berditchover, this comment refers not to Noach’s faith in G-d, but rather to Noach’s faith in himself; Noach had very little faith in himself. He didn’t believe his prayers could truly make a difference…”
“Could you imagine if Noach would have believed in his prayers? Had Noach believed in himself, he could have saved the entire world… We must believe in ourselves so strongly! We need to believe that if G-d is giving us life each second it is for good reason; that if we are here, it is because we belong here, that we can make use of our unique abilities to triumph in our tailor-made struggles and grow to towering heights! We must know that each of us has a special light to shine in the world, the unique ability to leave the world just a little bit more beautiful than the one into which we were born.”
“Noach’s mistake was that he did not realize how special and significant he was. As a result, he stood by and watched as the world was completely destroyed. Let us not make the same mistake. Let us realize that we are so amazing, imbued with incredible abilities to accomplish the most tremendous things.”
The first step in becoming a ba’al chesed is knowing that we are capable of making a positive impact. The evil inclination may try convincing us that we are incompetent or inadequate, that we have nothing to offer others. But in truth, we are all well-equipped for this mission. Each of us possess the ability to contribute; be it time, expertise, sympathy, or simply a listening ear.
Similarly, Rebbe Nachman teaches that we must believe that we are precious to Hashem, instilled with incredible strength to overcome the obstacles we face, and to help elevate those in need. He teaches that any feelings of being inept or ineffectual is considered “false humility,” and is simply a ploy of the evil inclination (see Sichot HaRan # 140).
As Rebbe Tzaddok Hakohen of Lublin writes that just as a Jew is obligated to believe in Hashem, so is he obligated to believe in himself! (Tzidkas HaTzaddik 154)
Of course, the opposite is true as well; we must never think that it’s beneath our dignity to help those in need. The true tzaddikim were able to humble themselves for the sake of others. As Rabbi Avraham Twerski zt’l relayed, “A poor widow complained to the Tzaddik of Sanz that she had a wagonload of apples, but no customers, because ‘someone spread a rumor that my apples aren’t good.’ The Tzaddik went to the marketplace to her wagon of apples and called out, ‘Come, Yidden! Buy delicious apples!’ Seeing the Tzaddik selling the apples, people rushed to buy them. Within a few minutes, all the apples were sold. ‘See,’ he said, ‘People know your apples are good.’”
As we quoted a few weeks back, Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Peshischa said, “Every person must carry two notes in his pocket. On one should be written, ‘The world was created for me’ and on the other, ‘I am but dust and ashes.’ And one must be judicious to read each note in its proper time.” When it comes to helping others, it is the appropriate time to see ourselves as valuable, capable, and competent, while simultaneously remembering that Hashem afforded us these capabilities and resources so that we can help others. As Rebbe Nachman (Likutey Moharan I, 5) teaches, “Now, each person must say: ‘The entire world was created only for my sake’ (Sanhedrin 37a). Consequently, because the world was created for my sake, I must constantly investigate and consider ways of making the world better; to provide what is missing in the world and pray on its behalf.”
Now, there are endless opportunities for performing chesed. All around us, there are people in need, waiting for someone to come and offer support. As Rebbe Nachman teaches, there is no person that is completely free from suffering; whether it’s physical or emotional, we all experience challenges through life. A helping hand provides relief in a time of need.
(While charity is an astounding mitzvah, and throughout his teachings Rebbe Nachman offers remarkable praise to the giver of charity, still our Sages teach us that acts of kindness are even more praiseworthy; Hashem takes great pride when we devote personal time, effort and energy to selflessly help others. As Rebbe Nachman teaches, “Acts of kindness are even greater than giving charity” (Sefer HaMiddos, Charity # 63). Similarly, Rebbe Nachman writes, “A person who gives a penny to charity receives six blessings, but one who consoles a poor person is rewarded eleven times over” (Sefer HaMiddos, Charity # 18). Similarly, the Talmud (Sukkah 49a) says that the mitzvah of gemilus chassadim is superior to tzedakah, because tzedakah is performed with one’s belongings, whereas gemilus chassadim is performed with one’s very person.)
It’s important to remember that the Mishna (Peah 1:1) lists acts of kindness as one of the few mitzvos that there is no minimum or maximum (unlike charity for example, which has very specific limits). When it comes to chesed, it is never too much, and it is never too little; no act or amount is considered insignificant. In fact, Rabbi Yisrael of Rizhin (1796-1850) taught, “A good deed is best remembered in heaven when it is forgotten by the man who performed it.”
Also, every act of kindness – big or small – has a positive effect on the person performing the good deed. As Rabbi Zelig Pliskin said, “Every act of kindness makes you a kinder person.”
Rebbe Nachman teaches us to serve Hashem with simplicity. This applies to the chesed we perform as well. Sometimes the simplest acts of kindness can leave the greatest impressions (even more so than grandiose gestures).
As Rabbi Yossi Katz writes, “Before his daughter Sarah’s wedding, Rebbe Nachman devoted time to teaching her concepts that he hoped would help her throughout her life. He spent much time explaining the greatness of the mitzvah of opening her home to guests. Rebbe Nachman wanted his daughter to have special enthusiasm and love for this mitzvah in particular, knowing full well the spiritual rectifications that take place throughout the worlds when one takes proper care of the guests Hashem sends. After all her father’s impassioned teaching, Sarah grasped the importance of the mitzvah, but now had a new question. Since the mitzvah is so great (it’s considered even greater than receiving the Shechinah), how would it be possible for her to ever carry it out properly, and in the best way? It seemed too much for someone like her to be able to perform the mitzvah as it really should be done. So she brought her question to her father, and Rebbe Nachman answered with classic simplicity. ‘A guest? It’s the simplest thing in the world: another slice of bread, and another space at the table!’”
“The loftiness of the mitzvah shouldn’t make us think that it’s beyond our capacity to fulfill. There’s no contradiction between a mitzvah being profound, and at the same time, being profoundly simple to carry out.”
Likewise, merely holding the door open for someone or offering a simple smile can initiate incredible results. As Rebbe Nachman (Sichot HaRan # 43) teaches, “With happiness, you can give a person life. A person might endure terrible suffering and not be able to express what is in his heart. There is no one to whom he can unburden his heart, so he remains deeply pained and worried. If you come to such a person with a happy face, you can literally give him life. This is a great thing and by no means an empty gesture.”
Rabbi Zvi Aryeh Rosenfeld elaborates, “Simcha (joy and happiness) is so important, it can actually bring a person to life. One who is on the verge of death can be brought back to life through simcha. If you see a person who is so sad that he’s completely dejected, and refuses to continue living because of the bitterness of his suffering, when you bring simcha to him and make him happy, you bring new life to him. This is the same as bringing a dead person to life. There are some people who are filled, rachmana litzlan, with so much suffering. There are those who live with so many worries. So many bad things have happened to them that it’s difficult for them to ever really feel happy. When you come to them with light talk and with encouraging talk, words from the Torah and from the tzaddikim, you are bringing them back to life. How valuable is this?”
Our friendship and encouragement provide nourishment to the impoverished soul. As Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe zt’l said, “Smile! Be a radiating sun in which the recipient can bask.”
Similarly, the verse states, “Avram took his wife Sarai and his brother’s son Lot, and all the wealth that they had amassed, and the persons that they had ‘created’ in Charan” (Bereishes 12:5). The Talmud questions how Avraham and Sarah were able to “create” life; as Rabbi Rosenfeld zt’l elaborates, we know that only Hashem can create life, whereas humans are incapable of creating even the smallest form of life… The greatest scientists are unable to give life to the tiniest insect (or to a single cell, for that matter). How could Avraham and Sarah create life? The Talmud answers that this is referring to the people whom Avraham and Sarah brought closer to Hashem. More praiseworthy than the physical food and nourishment that Avraham offered, was the spiritual sustenance he provided. By opening the hearts and minds of the people, the verse considers it as if Avraham “created” them… he gave them new life.
The Torah says (Devarim 26:13-14) that after a person appropriately tithes their land, they can declare, “I have neither transgressed nor neglected any of Your commandments… I have obeyed my G-d, Hashem; I have done just as You commanded me.” Rashi explains this to mean, “I have rejoiced and have brought joy to others.” Rabbi Elimelech Biderman therefore concludes, “Someone who is appropriately joyful and brings joy to others can truly proclaim: ‘I have done all that You commanded me.’ It is Hashem’s will that His children be constantly happy. Someone who brings joy to others, is fulfilling this desire.”
The evil inclination may approach us with numerous reasons and excuses why the other person is undeserving of our kindness… We must be smart enough to outwit him. Rabbi Twerski zt’l tells over the story of a Yid from Kossov, who was known to be a virulent opponent of the Chassidic approach to life and Judaism. He approached the Rebbe Reb Mendel of Kossov for advice. He was about to marry off his daughter but lacked the money needed for a dowry. “How much do you need?” the Rebbe asked. “A few hundred gulden,” the man answered. The Rebbe opened a drawer in his desk and gave the man all the money that was in it. When the Rebbe’s brother heard about this, he said, “Whenever something is needed in your own house, you say that you have no money to spare; yet you give all your money to a man who is your sworn adversary?!” The Rebbe responded, “There was someone here before you who said exactly the same thing, and his argument was even more eloquent than yours.” The brother asked, “Who was it?” With a smile, the Rebbe said, “It was the Satan.”
Similarly, a widow cried before Rebbe Aharon HaGadol of Karlin zt’l that her daughter is a bride, and she needs a significant amount of money to marry her off. Rebbe Aharon gave her generously. Sometime later, the widow approached him again, and this time she cried that her daughter refused to go to the chuppah until she was provided with a “shtern tichel,” which was quite costly. The mother bemoaned, “I tell her that her request is ridiculous, but I can’t get her to change her mind.” Rebbe Aharon took out a bag of money hidden in a closet and gave it to her. When Rebbe Aharon’s wife found out what her husband did, she asked, “Why did you give all this money to one woman? We could have distributed the money to twenty poor people, who need food for Shabbos!” Rebbe Aharon replied, “When I got up to give her the money, that question popped into my mind, too. I thought, ‘Why should I give all this money to one widow when I can instead help many people with it?’ But then I told myself that this money had been hidden in our home for ten years, and I never once thought to give it to twenty poor people for Shabbos. Why did I think of it now when I was planning to give the money away to this poor widow? I understood that this thought is from the yetzer hara.”
Lastly, Rebbe Nachman teaches that being compassionate requires daas (holy knowledge). One needs to know where, when and how to display mercy. We must be extremely considerate and delicate when helping others, ensuring our actions are not counterproductive. As Rebbe Nachman teaches (Netiv Tzaddik 31), “It’s not hard to push a person away. The real work is to draw him close and uplift him.”
The Rambam lists eight levels of giving charity. The loftiest is one who provides support to the needy, while allowing them to keep their honor and dignity intact. And the same applies for acts of kindness.
As the Bais HaLevi, Rabbi Yosef Dov Soloveitchik zt’l, said, “While performing the mitzvah of giving charity, the poor person should be treated with at least the same respect and dignity we give to our esrog on Succos.” Before purchasing an esrog for Succos, people will carefully examine their selection under microscopes searching for the slightest blemish or flaw (which is an incredible way to honor and beautify the mitzvah). The Bais HaLevi teaches that our interpersonal relationships are no less crucial or fragile. Just imagine what the world would look like if we would scrupulously scrutinize our interactions with others… The ripple effects would be truly amazing.
When helping others, it is imperative that we leave them with a feeling of importance and value, with their dignity intact. In this week’s Torah portion, we are told that Hashem Himself went to visit Avraham while he was recovering from his circumcision (this is the first example recorded in the Torah of visiting the sick). The Torah tells us that Avraham was sitting at the entrance of his tent, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to help those in need. Aside from consoling Avraham, Hashem sent guests for him to feed, thereby empowering him. By giving Avraham the chance to help others, Hashem afforded him a sense of purpose.
Similarly, although all acts of kindness are praiseworthy, the Talmud offers special praise when the person performing the kindness remains anonymous. Similarly, Rebbe Nachman teaches, “Anyone who conceals his charitable deeds is even greater than Moshe.” (Sefer HaMiddos, Charity # 17)
As Rabbi Twerski zt’l explains, some people may reject help because they feel it is demeaning, or they are ashamed of their current situation. Anonymous acts of kindness preserve the recipient’s self-esteem.
The Rebbe Reb Yitzchak of Vorka zt’l said, “Do you know why sugar sweetens the tea? It is because the sugar dissolves and its presence is not evident. So long as you can see the sugar, it has not sweetened the tea.” Similarly, if we make ourselves undetectable when performing acts of kindness, we just may sweeten the lives of many people.
